Self-awareness: why is it so hard?

Self-awareness is the capacity to focus on your own thoughts, feelings, emotions and behavior. It is the ability to understand how you deal with the external world and yourself, in a dispassionate and objective way.

A surprising number of us are not self-aware.

Please don’t use what I am about to say to vilify those around you. We have enough of that already.

But people who lack self-awareness exhibit the following behavior. First, they don’t adapt or change their behavior. The lack of self-awareness makes them repeat the same approach repeatedly without change.

They cannot change themselves.

They are always surprised at the reactions of others. They see their actions through the prism of intent and cannot reflect on their behavior. So if you said something to them, they would get angry or frustrated.

They can get defensive about feedback. Any effort to show them a mirror or ask them to reflect on their behavior makes them emotional or upset.

So what does all of this have to do with health?

Our ability to act is driven to a great extent by our understanding of ourselves. If you can truly understand yourself, your motivations, your behavior, your identify, you can change.

Obviously, if you lack self-awareness, change is hard.

Before you tell people around you to be more aware, reflect and look inside.

Are you?

Change, any change, starts with you. Specially in cases where we are dealing with “self-awareness.”

So find a friend, well-wisher or coach, who can help.

I have found, without exception, that my greatest contribution to the thousands of people I have met has been the ability to help them reflect.

Reflection has come with complete objectivity and a lack of judgement, or bias.

Which is why when a family member attempts this it goes downhill very quickly. There is too much emotion involved.

So if you want to change, improve your ability to self-reflect or find someone who can do it for you.

Reach out to me on twitter @rbawri Instagram @riteshbawriofficial and YouTube at www.youtube.com/breatheagain